What matters.

Assalamualaikum.



                    Seems like I am back again with blog. I don't know. I just think I need to express something. It has been a long time I had left the world of expressing my words. Too bad. I almost lost my ability to write again. I began to not know how to express my feelings and emotions through words anymore. I hate it. This is the only way that I've always done before to make me feel sane for some times. However, I almost can't control my feelings and anger anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what I actually did. I learn a lot of things growing up now. I learn to express with voice more. Being outspoken just let me be who I want and say anything that is still rational to me.

                  No matter how outspoken I have being. I still have someone deep inside me who doesn't want to tell her story to anyone. No one knows who I am deep down. I still have myself that won't go out and be free with people. I have myself who always keep to herself. It hurts. It hurts wearing a mask every single day. My muscle hurts from the fake smiling to everyone. I put up with every single shit that happened to me with a smile and laugh. People think I am happy. Am I?. I don't understand. Isn't that they said people who smile and laugh more actually have something deep down them?.

                   SOME people think I am too carefree that I looks like I don't even care about my whole life. Who said so? Who are you to judge me?. Do you know what is in mind?. No. I cared about everything. Even the tiny little detail in my life and to the whole far future ahead. A lot of things matter to me. The experience that I had for a little while being away from my hometown is a blast. I learned about almost everything. Not all people sucks like you. Seriously. I learned that money does matters in life but it is not everything. Every single aspect in life needs to be connected in order for you to live your life to the fullest.

                   I learnt how relationship matters in life. You need friends, family and everyone around you. You need them. You need life. I need life. I hate how people can be so obsessed with money that they would do everything for it. Please. Don't be a slave money. Let it come to you with your achievement in life. People are fake with money. When they have enormous amount of them, they brag and step on people's life as if they own them. God owns us. Your money can't send me to heaven. Your money can't tell me what to do. I am so mad. I really do. I have my reasons of writing this but I would never tell why. Got the hint, huh?. Great.

                      Hey listen. I know I am small now. I don't have money like you do. But you know what? I have everything that you don't have. Look at me. Brag to me. Step my head now. One day, I will prove you are WRONG. That day will come without you even notice it. Go ahead. We will never know anyone's future. Mine might be better than yours. Far better than yours. We will see.